Supporting Your Tween and Teen’s Executive Functioning Skills: A Guide for Parents
Hey there, parents!
We all know that raising tweens and teens is a wild ride. One minute they're enthusiastic about a new project, and the next, they're struggling to keep their schoolwork organized or remember to finish their chores. If you're finding yourself in the same boat, you’re not alone, and neither is your child.
Let’s talk about executive functioning skills. These are the mental processes that help us plan, focus attention, remember instructions, and juggle multiple tasks successfully. Think of them as the brain’s management system. For some tweens and teens, these skills can be a bit behind schedule, and that’s okay! It doesn’t mean they’re lazy or not trying hard enough. It just means their brains are still catching up in some areas.
What Are Executive Functioning Skills?
Executive functioning skills are essential for everything from getting ready for school to tackling a big project. They include:
Planning and Organizing: Setting goals and figuring out the steps to achieve them.
Time Management: Estimating how long tasks will take and meeting deadlines.
Working Memory: Keeping information in mind while using it, like remembering a math formula while solving a problem.
Flexible Thinking: Adjusting to new situations and finding different solutions to problems.
Self-Control: Managing emotions and impulses to stay focused and finish tasks.
These skills are crucial for success in school and life. But here's the thing: they don’t always develop at the same pace for everyone. Some kids need a bit more time and support to get there, and that’s where you come in.
Understanding the Struggle
Your tween or teen might be facing challenges with executive functioning for various reasons. It’s not just about having a diagnosed disability, like ADHD or a learning disorder. Even kids without identified disabilities can struggle with these skills. It’s a developmental journey, and every child moves through it differently.
When you see your child struggling to stay organized, manage their time, or follow through with tasks, it’s essential to recognize that these are skills they’re still developing. They’re not being lazy or careless; they’re learning how to manage their brain’s executive functions.
How You Can Help
Here are some practical tips to support your child’s executive functioning skills:
Create a Structured Environment: Consistent routines and clear expectations can help your child know what to expect and what is expected of them. A visual schedule or planner can be a lifesaver!
Break Tasks into Smaller Steps: Large projects can be overwhelming. Help your child break them down into smaller, manageable steps, and celebrate each step they complete.
Teach Time Management: Use timers or apps to help your child understand how long tasks take. Encourage them to set aside specific times for homework and breaks.
Encourage Flexibility: Life doesn’t always go as planned. Teach your child to adapt by discussing different ways to approach a problem or by practicing ‘what if’ scenarios.
Model and Practice Self-Control: Show your child how to manage emotions and impulses by modeling calm behavior. Practice mindfulness or deep-breathing exercises together.
Support Working Memory: Use memory aids like sticky notes, checklists, or digital reminders. Encourage your child to repeat information out loud or teach it to someone else.
Be Their Cheerleader
Remember, your encouragement and understanding can make a world of difference. Celebrate their successes, no matter how small, and offer support without judgment when things don’t go as planned. Let them know that struggling with these skills is a normal part of growing up, and with time and practice, they’ll get better at it.
If you’re looking for more structured support, consider resources like our executive functioning program at Cognitive Connections Coaching. We offer detailed lessons, worksheets, and personal workbooks designed to help tweens and teens understand their strengths, set meaningful goals, and develop the strategies they need to succeed.
Your tween or teen is capable of amazing things, and with a bit of support, they can develop the executive functioning skills they need to thrive. You’ve got this, and we’re here to help!
Happy parenting!
Jessica A Walker, PhD, CCC-SLP
Cognitive Connections Coaching
Want to learn more? Check out information about our coaching services and executive funtioning skills!
